Thank you for giving me the courage to walk away.

My took the plunge and sent my ex a closure text. Here it is... 

This is closure for me not for you so no affirmation  needed. Even before I broke up with you  I know you were no longer vested in us. I do want to thank you for showing me the error of my ways. Now,  I've got new purpose and I will learn from this experience and know what not to bring into my next relationship, unrealistic expectations.  Thank you for giving me the courage to walk away....    - Forever Lost

Lost , finding inspiration in love!

When I first heard this song, I literally broke down in tears uncontrollably. His voice mystified me as if he sang to me.  With each verse, with each chorus, he spoke to me on so many different levels. The lyrics may have been just mere words to some,  but the meaning ran deep for me. They embodied everything I felt that love was suppose to be. It was  not just an expression of affection, but a promise to hold steadfast to what unconditional love was intended to be. 

No one is perfect and no journey comes without bumps and detours along the way. Life is what happens in between the series of moments strung together by mishaps and sometimes even events that place you face to face with life altering decision that could change the outcome for all those involved. 

It starts off simple boy meets girl, boy falls for girl, girl resists, but soon finds herself knee deep and a mile high soaring above the clouds in love. A real life modern day romance in the making. 

Soon boy pledges his undying love and devotion to girl. The poets of days gone by couldn't have laid out the plot anymore perfect. A love story written in the stars, a love destined to last the test of time, linger long after the dust has settled. 

How does something almost too beautiful for mere words,  continue to burn, how does it self ignite in the flames that scorch the internal embers, two entwined hearts into one seamless unbreakable love?

Lost , finding inspiration in love! It truly is a beautiful as they say, I don't care what any skeptics claim.  I will never lose faith in love!  I will, live it! I will, love it! I will, bring it down and out of the rafters and let it just be!

Chris Medina - What Are Words

Lost in Love:Will Wonders Never Cease!!

I always fancied myself a romantic at heart. Whilst most of us preferred the more traditional more orthodox road. The insanely unorthodox version of myself sought the more challenging path in search of the one thing that has eluded me all my life. During my life long journey, I have loved and lost. Even finding myself drowning in tears of sorrow, grieving the loss of what I once cherished so dear. I, like many of those romantics before me felt we understood what being in love meant. But unbeknown to me, I was under the illusion of being in love. There are many emotions that can mimic the physical afflictions of being in love including lust and admiration. I spent years trying to over analyzed dynamics of failed relationships trying to understand what had went wrong in attempts to avoid the tragic re-enactment of disasters. I haven't that the best of luck in the affairs of the heart.

This year, I am determined to step into the new year with an open mind and heart. I bring with me into the new year, a budding relationship that has blossomed from the most innocent of interactions.It has grown stronger with time. Though it has challenged all that I have come to know and understand about what it means to be in love, it has reined true and emotions run deep and profoundly impacted my life like no other.

Love isn't the uncontrollable desperate feeling of needing someone, it is in fact knowing that you could probably go on living without him, but making the conscious choice not to. He sees past my faults and embraces me whole. The warmth of this radiating smile comforts my longing heart. For he is the calm that tames the raging seas of your heart. When there is turmoil, he is the driving force that guides you during the darkest days of your life. He is the one who is patient and understands me in all my bouts of madness. Still smiles at me each day in the same simple most beautiful way. I found myself and got lost in him. What a mind-alteringly liberating feeling! There are many unknown variables and hiccups along this journey, but I am confident and eager to discover what lies ahead.

Lost is Found: My First Last Kiss

As I lay in bed, my mind wonders as I quietly drift
Those weary eyes soon  succumbing to the irresistible urge
My imagination runs wild as my thoughts, they deceive me
I can almost feel your warmth radiating, engulfing me whole
Your gentle touch sends electrifying  jolts of raw energy surging
Throughout my body, coursing through my veins.
My supple yearning body trembles with eager anticipation
For your touch, to feel your hands exploring, tracing my silhouette   
My heart races as I move closer towards your lips
Ever so slowly moving closer, each move more deliberate
Just the mere notion of them, the promise of them
To be able to taste them, to feel the moist sweetness from your lips,
Setting my soul on fire, igniting the flames of passion
This exquisite sensation, this blissful moment in time,
I want to cherish and experience with you  and only you.

-Lost in Love

Blissfully Lost: Lost N Love?

I have spent years literally hiding from the world and from the one thing that I have craved for all my life. Though I was in love with the idea, it scared the daylights out of me. But slowly and surely my desires for love and companionship lead me to the closest thing to love, if you can call it that.  It sure felt and resembled the sensations that mimic love. But in hindsight, I realize that it has all been a figment of my longing desire to be loved that lead me to looking for love online. But little did I know that things would take on a life of its own once I returned stateside.

The First Encounter

From the first moment we met, it is like something so familiar about him. You know that feeling you get when you first met someone. It is like a jolt of electricity coursing through your entire body. You are now feeling sensations that you have never felt before. Well, at least not in the same magnitude as you have been accustomed to experiencing. I knew though in my heart of hearts though there something about him that was and still is different.

The Interrogation

We shared brief stories about our lives and walked each other down memory lane. I had felt like I had known him all my life, like he was a long time friend. Strangely enough, I was completely at ease with him and he made me feel safe though an hour before we were mere strangers who met over the cyber airwaves. We talked for hours and straight through a movie, like lovers whispering hoping to have an opportunity to closer to each other.

The Kiss

And omg that first kiss light up my entire body like a switchboard on fire. I was alive for the first time in my 40 years of life, I was really '"ALIVE'". You know what that say about the first kiss, it tells you everything about whether he has the potential to be ‘”the one’”  

The Challenge

He challenged everything I thought I knew about love and he side swiped me and struck me from out of the blue. I was completely dumb founded for a whole week. Then it dawned on me, he really likes me.

His eagerness which by the way normally would be a turn-off wasn't. Go figure!!!! He wasn't afraid to tell me how he felt and was determined to let me know his intentions were genuine. He went out of his way to take notice of things I valued and wanted. He focused on me and getting to the weird and quirky things that made me tick.

I cannot honestly imagine how I lived my life before him nor do I care to return to how my life was before him. I am beside myself with anticipation and the idea of being in his presence exhilarates me and fuels my imagination. Am I infatuated? Maybe that’s how it started, but my dear friends, it has blossomed into much much more than a simple crush! I absolutely adore the notion of us and hang on to each and every word with bated breath. 

I have always dreamt of this very moment. This moment in time where I can rationally and with 100 percent confidence that I can confess to you that I have driven way beyond Smitten Ave and well on my way to Lover’s Lane. 

I know not what the future holds or how it will unfold, but I do know that there is no place I would rather be and no one I would rather discover life’s many mysteries with than you. 

                                                                 -Lost N Love!!!

Retro-Lost: Lost in Nostalia of the 80's

Morrissey - Everyday is like Sunday

 Morrissey - The more you ignore me, the closer I get

 

The Smiths - There is A Light That Never Goes out

 

New Order - Blue Monday 

  JOY DIVISION - LOVE WILL TEAR US APART

 

Lost in nostalgia: Linger in the dim moonlight ...

I have been down this road before, but I am hoping to view it from a totally different perspective. Maybe you can enlighten me by possible sharing your point of view with me. You may choose to remain silent which mind you is your choice, but by chance if you are feeling empowered with a revived surge of inspiration,please feel free to say what it is that you have been dying to scream out at the top of your lung.  Announce to the world, that you here, let them know that you are not beaten, you refuse to give in to the sometimes downtrodden sometimes never ending u-turns that life seems to force feed you. You are a survivor and you will conquer and reach those highest peaks that have eluded you before. Linger in the dim moonlight and bask in the glory of the sun for those seemly brief moments are yours to enjoy a lifetime. Won't you join me?

David Cook, "Take Me As I Am"

Lost in the Moment

There are moments in our lives we find ourselves doubting things that seems so clear and others where things never seemed so crystal clear. I think that each one of us has walked down that path once or twice if not more. Nothing can be more deafening than the overwhelming fear that you are all alone in your struggles and that no one can understand or feel your pain. It may even feel  unbearable and you struggle to sort out those thoughts that weigh you down and  you just want to break free, to catch a brief glimpse of the light at the end of the tunnel, but the dire situation feels so impossible. But before you toss in the towel or consider giving up on this game of life that seemingly threatens to consume you, fear not, we all have those moments. Like any other moments we share and have to endure, they will pass in time like a wave of scorching flame from the fires of life, it will pass. For those moments that once bound you cannot contain something that is essential all inspiring.

I always wondered why they depict people gazing into the distant horizon or looking for inspiration to life's mysteries as if they were written in the stars or across the sky like a Hollywood billboard.

The inspiration and answers you crave have been with you all along. Through all the turmoil and chaos of life. You have held the key to what you felt was an unsolvable mystery. For life's ultimate inspiration lies from within. Seek and you will find what has always been yours to have and to hold. Peace, find solace within for divine guidance can only show you the way, it is up to you to follow your own path to destiny.

Emerson Drive - "Moments"

Just for Laughs`: Sexism

 

Lost Taken Over The World! 1st Stop: Washington DC!!!!

It's official, I am heading stateside the middle of the month in March! I I am pretty excited. Has definitely been way to long since I last stepped foot on American soil and of all places to go, Washington DC! Perfect I have been tell you all along, DC is fondly lingering in my memory pallets. 

I was hoping to catch a flight back to SA before coming home, but well not so sure now I will be able to managed that, but hey for all those I have disappointed, fear not this isn't the first or the last trip back and well I am pretty determined to make my way back. 

And yes I do miss you terrible and already thinking of when and how I can make '"IT'" happen!!

Any ideas folks???? I am giddy and smitten with the idea of all the exciting things we could do and will do! I keep trying to convince a certain someone, who I shall not name at this point...I wish you were here, even in silence, with nothing to say, nothing to rebut as much as I absolutely love your rebuttals!

Well, I have attached the Global Meeting On Civic Engagement for those who are wondering where I am headed to and why!!! hehe

Citizen Voices will focus on citizen engagement and feedback systems that strengthen the quality of policy making and the science of service delivery, and where the impact on the poor is most direct.  

The conference will bring together tech innovators, development specialists, government officials, academics, civil society representatives, World Bank staff and the private sector where experience with client feedback systems is the deepest. Sessions will include discussions exploring how innovative uses of technology can be transformational, how governments can be more responsive and how we ensure citizen feedback is robust.  The conference will close by generating ideas for how we proceed as a collective in advancing the citizen engagement agenda.

The conference will be held Monday March 18, from 8:30-6:00 pm at the International Finance Corporation Auditorium, 2121 Pennsylvania Avenue NW, Washington, D.C.

Virtual participation is open to the public; physical participation will be by invitation only.

For more info please follow links below!

• Visit the Event Site for more information
• Draft Schedule of Events

Love is more than skin deep, it is eternal and innately us!

This is another fun song!! On the eve of Saint Valentines Day, with loads of people rushing to buy there loved ones something special on this day of lovers and those they love, this song takes the notion of love and hate to the extreme. Have you ever loved someone who absolutely drove you nuts at time?

We love to hate or is it the sadomasochistic in us that drives us to the edge? What about the notion that love isn't suppose to be complicated? Crazy right? Absolutely, everything about love and human being is complicated from our gene encoding and physical chemistry down to our essence of who we are psychologically, I mean what makes us tick:-)

I for one have always been a die-hard romantic and mere notion of being in love and the process around falling in love is one of the many passions that fuel my desires and my being. In the recent past, I have tried to view love from varying perspectives, but have always come back to the raw notion of love being the fully charged emotion that is explosive and can even be a highly volatile emotion that has the potential to erupt. It's how we choose to harness and tame that emotion that's tricky, but to mute it or play it down does it no justice, in fact its an injustice to humanity and to the very meaning of the word! So, love like you live, without fear and without hesitation!!! Love is simply, beautiful!

This is a rendition of the song sung by Maroon 5, '"One More Night'" Happy Valentines Day! Enjoy!

Just for Laughs Cuz Heck, I am in a great mood!

This is morbidly funny in a twisted quirky way! But hey it gives a new meaning to bleeding heart! I mean literally bleeding for you from the inside out. Now that's love for you..hehe! I cut my heart and hope to die, poke a needle in my eye! I love you, more than words can say and express. I love you so much it hurts!! How would you react to a declaration of love so strong it became borderline masochistic? Or would your innate response be, drop everything and run for the hills? Or OMG! He does love me!!!!! haha....Food for thought and pain as the icing on the proverbial cake of Undying love!!!! XXX

-Lost Enamoured 

Stupid Cupid!!!!

 This is a fun song! Enjoy!

My Mystical Lover

My mystical lover, you mesmerize me

With your penetrating stare you violate me

Piercing, scorching gaze that sees through me

But I beg you, can you see the real me?

Open your eyes and see me for all that I have been

For all that I am, for all that I will be.

Can you see past those walls?

The walls that I have spent years building

Which surround all around and keeps most at bay?

Are you not afraid of the rough exterior?

Can you see through to the struggling interior?

Exposed, raw heart that’s been torn and shredded

Held together by tape that barely holding thy mending heart.

My mystical lover, you mesmerize me

With your penetrating stare you violate me

Piercing,scorching gaze that sees through me

But I beg you, can you see the real me?

Open your eyes and see me for all that I have been

For all that I am, for all that I will be.

-Lost N Your Gaze

Lost Enamoured: There are two sides to every story

When I see you, I will know you are the one. The one that has stolen the missing piece to my heart. The piece, without which my life's puzzle remain incomplete.

How does something so simple allude us so overtly and even till this day plays tricks on us, tormenting us.

Destiny will bring us together. It is destiny that will bound us for a lifetime and into the next. It will be in your hands, for it is how it was meant to be, and how it will be.

I have waited a lifetime for someone like you, someone who understands me,  and accepts me, embraces me, faults and all. It is with you I find peace and bring calm to the chaos that ensues and threatens to engulf.

It is you, that holds the key to unlock my heart. The key that I have kept hidden away from those who have tried to lure me with their false charms and mislead me with their promises never ending. It is a the key that safeguards the secrets locked away in my heart. There can only be one keeper to key to my heart. 

For a lifetime I would wait, for a lifetime I would endure until destiny brings you to my door. Until then I will stare aimlessly into the distant skies in hopes that somewhere out there you are searching for me. Patience whispers my content mind  to solemn soul and to my eager heart which grows anxious with each passing day. He will come, he will complete the casting and then our story shall begin. For ever story has two sides.

                                                                          -Lost Enamoured 

Lost's Visit Down Memory Lane

This picture reminded me of someone from my distant past. We worked together at a local Japanese Restaurant back in San Antonio while I was studying. He was obviously of mixed Chinese and Hispanic decent. Such a cutie. I had such a crush on him. We spent many evening stealing glances at each other never really voicing how we felt or exploring the undeniable attraction that we felt towards each other. It was just fun and exciting, I guess to have this silent attraction for each other. Gave me goosebumps he did!! Distant memories still linger and tickle my fancy and I think of him each year around Chinese New Years. I wonder what has become of him? His smile and presence lit up a room and his laugh carried across the crowded room even with the bustling sounds of chatter and dishes. He used to come in with his costume so proudly displaying his ancestry and rich heritage. '*Sigh* Memories they are simply lovely!

Happy Chinese New Year!!!

Lost's Perspective:There are no wrong choices, just not the best choices!!

Though sometimes I find myself questioning even ideas and thoughts that I have always revered and upheld, there are times I can't help but wonder have I done enough, do the people around me know how much they have impacted my life and helped kept me going even on those crazy days? Those who know me well and even may have had the fortune ( or misfortune which every prospective you may choose to view it from) to have work with me on any one of my many projects, know me well enough to know that I am not only a avid idealist, but conversationalist who loves to share her ideas. I believe that I help improve myself by helping others. Though it does sound a bit self-serving, trust me when I say I always put others ahead of myself. Especially, in situations where the interest of people I care about come into play. I am the first to admit that I am nothing without the support and love of my family, friends, and colleagues. Because lets face it, I do not live on an island with a population of one. Oh, contraire my dear! We in fact live amongst others in a global community of peers.   We cannot survive on our own isolated from the world. I know that some may find away to argue with me on this one, but I stand firm on my belief that this is true to the best of my knowledge and is based on my experience. For it is the love and kindness of others that feeds the flames of life that ensures the engine within us all continues to chug forward. Motivation and inspiration is all around as I have always claimed it to be. Sometimes the very thing that inspires us, ironically test our resolves. It pushes us to our very limit of tolerance and begs the question what now!!????  Which road do I take? What if its not the right decision? What if I make the wrong choice? But before you throw down the towel of despair, I genuinely believe that there is not '"real wrong choice'" just not the best choice. For things always workout for the best in the end whether it was as we imagined it to be or desired it to be. Those very choices are like breadcrumbs that are left along the pathway of life that leads us back to whence we came. Don't live life with regrets! Simply learn from those not to right choices and remember that bittersweet after taste that they have left linger in our mouths for the next time hopefully you will make the better choice if ever you are faced with the same dilemma again. This time you will not only be wiser, but more informed and prepared for what lies ahead. 

On the eve of this most auspicious Chinese New Year, I wish you all a very happy and prosperous new year and may love, happiness and good fortune continue to shower and fill your heart with contentment! XXX 

Lost's Paradox: Lost n Found

Can something truly lost ever really be found? I mean if you have taken something precious and dear to you, boxed it up and hide it so well that over the years you somehow forgot where you placed it. Even though you desperately scramble about to search for it, search for its whereabouts to no avail. Something so hidden away that you are now faced with the dilemma that it will never be found. That all those years, you kept it hidden away to safeguard it from those who bared false charms and who indeed meant nothing but harm, now that you are ready to open up and share that you realize that it’s all unfathomable and you fear that now that the day has come, you will not be able to give yourself fully and without hesitation. Engrossed with irrational fear and trying to rationalize its meaning and sort out the overwhelming realization that you have allowed the years to pass without ever really giving love a chance to flourish and grow.

But regardless of how hopeless that the situation may feel at times, you realize that destiny and fate still have a hand yet to play. So all hope is not gone and in this life I have always held my firm belief that we were all mean to share our lives with another. This is how it was meant to be and this is how it will be. You bide your time, and wait your turn for the final hand to be played and for everything to come full circle and complete your duet. For life’s serenade is a duet not a solo ballad. Fear not for what lies ahead promises to be far more exquisitely serene and is simply beautiful. So, patience my mind whispers tenderly to my eager heart and soul which craves to be fulfilled and complete. Until now, my life’s puzzle remains incomplete.

                                                                  - Lost n Found

Natasha Bedingfield 

- Soumate

Invincible Lost: I am woman hear me rawrrrrrrrrrrr...

COURAGE not the absence of FEAR, but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear. Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood. 

I am not afraid of TOMORROW, for I have seen YESTERDAY and I love TODAY. Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves...regret for the past and fear of the future. What we seek we shall find; what we flee from flees from us!!!

                      -Invincible Lost

            Fergie - Big Girls Don't Cry         

Lost Enthralled: Retreat, regroup, then go forth & rediscover thyself!!!

With each breathe I struggle to take, I can feel my weary heart ache

It yearns to be roam free, to soar up amongst the distant clouds

Leaving behind the spent emotions, unchained, no longer shackled to the past

The past that has haunted me, imprisoned my will, laid captive my desires

Stunned as if frozen in time, revealing in the stagnant essence of the torment

Afraid to move past, afraid to let go, afraid to forget something that once mystified

Titillated, taunted, and teased playfully ingraining images that danced in my mind

I crave to be adored, to be worshiped, and elaborately adorned with the simple notion 

The simply delectable notion so sinfully sweet, too tasty to the very last drop

You secretly stew up deliciously wicked ways to devour more

You deliberately allow it to simmer, to abide the succulent juices to ooze

Coating the ravenous pallet that lines your being, 

To engorge, to feast of the essence of what you desire

Will the overwhelming  craving linger endlessly taunt me 

Thus igniting the thirst that can never be quenched?

-Lost Enthralled

Lost in Retrospect: Our lives sometimes leads us down unsuspecting paths that may sometimes seem endless and relentlessly cruel, take heart for nothing happens by chance. There is a higher force at power will undoubtedly guide us back to the path that we were meant to follow. These detours are filled with life lessons that are bittersweet and sour at times. But like most other occurrences in our lives are set out to reveal the conspicuous  and illusive purpose that drew us astray. We must absorb and learn from these life's altering events and accept and forgive those who have trespassed against us or maybe spin the truth to their own devices and to suit their own selfish means. So, when you find yourself wandering aimlessly or lost your footing, simply do as lost does. Retreat, regroup, then go forth,  and rediscover thyself!!!