My took the plunge and sent my ex a closure text. Here it is...
This is closure for me not for you so no affirmation needed. Even before I broke up with you I know you were no longer vested in us. I do want to thank you for showing me the error of my ways. Now, I've got new purpose and I will learn from this experience and know what not to bring into my next relationship, unrealistic expectations. Thank you for giving me the courage to walk away.... - Forever Lost
When I first heard this song, I literally broke down in tears uncontrollably. His voice mystified me as if he sang to me. With each verse, with each chorus, he spoke to me on so many different levels. The lyrics may have been just mere words to some, but the meaning ran deep for me. They embodied everything I felt that love was suppose to be. It was not just an expression of affection, but a promise to hold steadfast to what unconditional love was intended to be.
No one is perfect and no journey comes without bumps and detours along the way. Life is what happens in between the series of moments strung together by mishaps and sometimes even events that place you face to face with life altering decision that could change the outcome for all those involved.
It starts off simple boy meets girl, boy falls for girl, girl resists, but soon finds herself knee deep and a mile high soaring above the clouds in love. A real life modern day romance in the making.
Soon boy pledges his undying love and devotion to girl. The poets of days gone by couldn't have laid out the plot anymore perfect. A love story written in the stars, a love destined to last the test of time, linger long after the dust has settled.
How does something almost too beautiful for mere words, continue to burn, how does it self ignite in the flames that scorch the internal embers, two entwined hearts into one seamless unbreakable love?
Lost , finding inspiration in love! It truly is a beautiful as they say, I don't care what any skeptics claim. I will never lose faith in love! I will, live it! I will, love it! I will, bring it down and out of the rafters and let it just be!
I always fancied myself a romantic at heart. Whilst most of us preferred the more traditional more orthodox road. The insanely unorthodox version of myself sought the more challenging path in search of the one thing that has eluded me all my life. During my life long journey, I have loved and lost. Even finding myself drowning in tears of sorrow, grieving the loss of what I once cherished so dear. I, like many of those romantics before me felt we understood what being in love meant. But unbeknown to me, I was under the illusion of being in love. There are many emotions that can mimic the physical afflictions of being in love including lust and admiration. I spent years trying to over analyzed dynamics of failed relationships trying to understand what had went wrong in attempts to avoid the tragic re-enactment of disasters. I haven't that the best of luck in the affairs of the heart.
This year, I am determined to step into the new year with an open mind and heart. I bring with me into the new year, a budding relationship that has blossomed from the most innocent of interactions.It has grown stronger with time. Though it has challenged all that I have come to know and understand about what it means to be in love, it has reined true and emotions run deep and profoundly impacted my life like no other.
Love isn't the uncontrollable desperate feeling of needing someone, it is in fact knowing that you could probably go on living without him, but making the conscious choice not to. He sees past my faults and embraces me whole. The warmth of this radiating smile comforts my longing heart. For he is the calm that tames the raging seas of your heart. When there is turmoil, he is the driving force that guides you during the darkest days of your life. He is the one who is patient and understands me in all my bouts of madness. Still smiles at me each day in the same simple most beautiful way. I found myself and got lost in him. What a mind-alteringly liberating feeling! There are many unknown variables and hiccups along this journey, but I am confident and eager to discover what lies ahead.
As I lay in bed, my mind wonders as I quietly drift Those weary eyes soon succumbing to the irresistible urge My imagination runs wild as my thoughts, they deceive me I can almost feel your warmth radiating, engulfing me whole Your gentle touch sends electrifying jolts of raw energy surging Throughout my body, coursing through my veins. My supple yearning body trembles with eager anticipation For your touch, to feel your hands exploring, tracing my silhouette My heart races as I move closer towards your lips Ever so slowly moving closer, each move more deliberate Just the mere notion of them, the promise of them To be able to taste them, to feel the moist sweetness from your lips, Setting my soul on fire, igniting the flames of passion This exquisite sensation, this blissful moment in time, I want to cherish and experience with you and only you.
I
have spent years literally hiding from the world and from the one thing that I
have craved for all my life. Though I was in love with the idea, it scared
the daylights out of me. But slowly and surely my desires for love and
companionship lead me to the closest thing to love, if you can call it
that.It sure felt and resembled the sensations
that mimic love. But in hindsight, I realize that it has all been a figment of
my longing desire to be loved that lead me to looking for love online. But little
did I know that things would take on a life of its own once I returned
stateside.
The
First Encounter
From
the first moment we met, it is like something so familiar about him. You
know that feeling you get when you first met someone. It is like a jolt of
electricity coursing through your entire body. You are now feeling
sensations that you have never felt before. Well, at least not in the
same magnitude as you have been accustomed to experiencing. I knew
though in my heart of hearts though there something about him that was and
still is different.
The
Interrogation
We
shared brief stories about our lives and walked each other down memory lane. I
had felt like I had known him all my life, like he was a long time friend. Strangely
enough, I was completely at ease with him and he made me feel safe though an
hour before we were mere strangers who met over the cyber airwaves. We talked
for hours and straight through a movie, like lovers whispering hoping to have an
opportunity to closer to each other.
The
Kiss
And
omg that first kiss light up my entire body like a switchboard on fire. I was
alive for the first time in my 40 years of life, I was really
'"ALIVE'". You know what that say about the first kiss, it tells you
everything about whether he has the potential to be ‘”the one’”
The
Challenge
He
challenged everything I thought I knew about love and he side swiped me
and struck me from out of the blue. I was completely dumb founded for a whole
week. Then it dawned on me, he really likes me.
His
eagerness which by the way normally would be a turn-off wasn't. Go
figure!!!! He wasn't afraid to tell me how he felt and was determined to let me
know his intentions were genuine. He went out of his way to take notice of
things I valued and wanted. He focused on me and getting to the weird and
quirky things that made me tick.
I
cannot honestly imagine how I lived my life before him nor do I care to return
to how my life was before him. I am beside myself with anticipation and the idea of
being in his presence exhilarates me and fuels my imagination. Am I infatuated?
Maybe that’s how it started, but my dear friends, it has blossomed into much
much more than a simple crush! I absolutely adore the notion of us and hang on
to each and every word with bated breath.
I have
always dreamt of this very moment. This moment in time where I can rationally
and with 100 percent confidence that I can confess to you that I have driven
way beyond Smitten Ave and well on my way to Lover’s Lane.
I
know not what the future holds or how it will unfold, but I do know that there
is no place I would rather be and no one I would rather discover life’s many
mysteries with than you.
I have been down this road before, but I am hoping to view it from a totally different perspective. Maybe you can enlighten me by possible sharing your point of view with me. You may choose to remain silent which mind you is your choice, but by chance if you are feeling empowered with a revived surge of inspiration,please feel free to say what it is that you have been dying to scream out at the top of your lung. Announce to the world, that you here, let them know that you are not beaten, you refuse to give in to the sometimes downtrodden sometimes never ending u-turns that life seems to force feed you. You are a survivor and you will conquer and reach those highest peaks that have eluded you before. Linger in the dim moonlight and bask in the glory of the sun for those seemly brief moments are yours to enjoy a lifetime. Won't you join me?
There are moments in our lives we find ourselves doubting things that seems so clear and others where things never seemed so crystal clear. I think that each one of us has walked down that path once or twice if not more. Nothing can be more deafening than the overwhelming fear that you are all alone in your struggles and that no one can understand or feel your pain. It may even feel unbearable and you struggle to sort out those thoughts that weigh you down and you just want to break free, to catch a brief glimpse of the light at the end of the tunnel, but the dire situation feels so impossible. But before you toss in the towel or consider giving up on this game of life that seemingly threatens to consume you, fear not, we all have those moments. Like any other moments we share and have to endure, they will pass in time like a wave of scorching flame from the fires of life, it will pass. For those moments that once bound you cannot contain something that is essential all inspiring.
I always wondered why they depict people gazing into the distant horizon or looking for inspiration to life's mysteries as if they were written in the stars or across the sky like a Hollywood billboard.
The inspiration and answers you crave have been with you all along. Through all the turmoil and chaos of life. You have held the key to what you felt was an unsolvable mystery. For life's ultimate inspiration lies from within. Seek and you will find what has always been yours to have and to hold. Peace, find solace within for divine guidance can only show you the way, it is up to you to follow your own path to destiny.
It's official, I am heading stateside the middle of the month in March! I I am pretty excited. Has definitely been way to long since I last stepped foot on American soil and of all places to go, Washington DC! Perfect I have been tell you all along, DC is fondly lingering in my memory pallets.
I was hoping to catch a flight back to SA before coming home, but well not so sure now I will be able to managed that, but hey for all those I have disappointed, fear not this isn't the first or the last trip back and well I am pretty determined to make my way back.
And yes I do miss you terrible and already thinking of when and how I can make '"IT'" happen!!
Any ideas folks???? I am giddy and smitten with the idea of all the exciting things we could do and will do! I keep trying to convince a certain someone, who I shall not name at this point...I wish you were here, even in silence, with nothing to say, nothing to rebut as much as I absolutely love your rebuttals!
Well, I have attached the Global Meeting On Civic Engagement for those who are wondering where I am headed to and why!!! hehe
Citizen Voices will focus on citizen engagement and feedback systems that strengthen the quality of policy making and the science of service delivery, and where the impact on the poor is most direct.
The conference will bring together tech innovators, development specialists, government officials, academics, civil society representatives, World Bank staff and the private sector where experience with client feedback systems is the deepest. Sessions will include discussions exploring how innovative uses of technology can be transformational, how governments can be more responsive and how we ensure citizen feedback is robust. The conference will close by generating ideas for how we proceed as a collective in advancing the citizen engagement agenda.
The conference will be held Monday March 18, from 8:30-6:00 pm at the International Finance Corporation Auditorium, 2121 Pennsylvania Avenue NW, Washington, D.C.
Virtual participation is open to the public; physical participation will be by invitation only.
His
eagerness which by the way normally would be a turn-off wasn't. Go
figure!!!! He wasn't afraid to tell me how he felt and was determined to let me
know his intentions were genuine. He went out of his way to take notice of
things I valued and wanted. He focused on me and getting to the weird and
quirky things that made me tick. 
I have been down this road before, but I am hoping to view it from a totally different perspective. Maybe you can enlighten me by possible sharing your point of view with me. You may choose to remain silent which mind you is your choice, but by chance if you are feeling empowered with a revived surge of inspiration,please feel free to say what it is that you have been dying to scream out at the top of your lung. Announce to the world, that you here, let them know that you are not beaten, you refuse to give in to the sometimes downtrodden sometimes never ending u-turns that life seems to force feed you. You are a survivor and you will conquer and reach those highest peaks that have eluded you before. Linger in the dim moonlight and bask in the glory of the sun for those seemly brief moments are yours to enjoy a lifetime. Won't you join me?
