Jealousy: Confessions of the Little Green Monster

The sooner you realize that not everything in life a contest the better. Because let’s face it, envy drains the soul and is usually an expression of insecurity. No one is immune to envy, and you probably know from experience that it can make you miserable. Truth be told, you cannot be happy and envious at the same time. In fact, one of the greatest secrets to happiness in life is learning how to eliminate envy. Acknowledging the need to do so can be painful, but accepting material limits or advantages may lead to a change of values and a more spiritual and fulfilling way of life. The way you change envy is by changing your perspective. While you may not be able to completely change the feelings that cause envy, you can change your perspective and eliminate it from your life. The challenge remains to stop short of comparing yourself to others. Satisfaction comes from doing your best. You don't have to imitate somebody else's lifestyle.  

I have come face to face with the little green monster and I honestly do not like how it makes me feel. Because, I have never considered myself a jealous person and I am not ready to give into those evil little voices of the green monster lurking in the shadows.  I determined to not to fall prey to those urges of self doubt and the first step in overcoming is identifying the root cause. Knowing the cause for jealousy in any situation is the first step towards overcoming such negative emotions.  I have come to the realization that certain environment breeding cesspool of doubt and the unknown. There isn’t anything scarier than coming face to face with your own insecurities especially, if you have always been fairly confident and self assured. If in fact this is the result of exposing myself to said environment, I have determined that the only recourse is to remove myself from it completely. So, this is what I have decided to do. You might think I am a tad drastic, but honestly I think at this point this is my best measure to combat the current dilemma.

Once that has been established there is a need to take a stock on reality. It is important to not let your assumptions get in the way of a healthy relationship just because you feel jealous based on imagined problems.  And  I havey met the most amazing person with the most unbelievable heart. He has brought the sparkle back to my smile and has given me a reason to believe in all that is possible. We have found each other in the midst of all the madness and chaos of a crowded room. I have treasured the opportunity to be a part of his life and share mine with him. I hope that I am able to overcome this seemly debilitating feeling I have looming over me. I pray that he find the heart to be patient with me as I try to regain my footing and collect my thoughts.

Far be it from me to make any judgments call on any platform or the people how use it, but honestly, If  you knew the many lies that people tell each other, and lengths that people went to spin tales of deceit for the sake of cheap thrills. I wish I didn’t know half the things I knew or have come to know.  I just think that it is high time I given up the source of my current discomfort. It is not a crutch or a replacement for living my life and forging forward. Once it loses its entertainment value, it’s time to take a high road and save myself. I chose salvaging my sanity and redeeming my soul. I will longer expose myself to something that is consuming me alive.  It is a temporary fix and for at least now that is what I plan to do. Is it realistic to break this habit, we will see. Hahaha!

                                                                                    

I have long since subscribed to the theory of positive thinking. Like in every situation where negative emotions get in the way of rational thinking, positive thinking helps. When jealousy burns, try thinking of better things. And I can honestly say I have never felt an overwhelming sense of envy towards anyone in any given situation. I have always celebrated other successes as my own. But, it seems my Achilles heel seems to be these murky affairs of the heart. Guess deep down inside I deathly afraid of losing a grip on reality.  Call it insecurities if you like. I am not ashamed to admit it. I find myself face to face with my demons as I am being chased by that pesky evil little green monster who wants to possess me.  

Jealousy results in a front to vent out its wrath, so focus on eliminating all negative emotions.

When jealousy creeps into your head try to remember you are listening to your small self. It is your big self that embraces your heart; therefore, you want to pay attention to your big self. 

Your big self is the part of you that is kind, respectful, and loving of you. It is the part of you that you welcome and enjoy. It is the part of you that makes you whole. 

Your big self is the qualified decision maker because it combines reason and emotion into a balanced mix. It is your big self that knows yourself worth and that knows you deserve happiness and love. Your big self knows how to identify and live these good emotions. 

Your little self is like a radio signal that you only listen to once in a while and you don't even enjoy. Why tune it in at all?