Friday, October 26, 2012

Love Across Oceans: Hopelessly Smitten or Borderline Masochist


When many of us think of long distance relationships, a few questions more than likely will pop up  such as are you a masochist? Why do you like pain? Why are you doing this to yourself? Are you insane? How could anyone pick a Friday night of skyping with someone who lives some several oceans and 9000 some-odd miles away over Friday night dinner and movie with friends? These are things you and most people probably can't wrap their minds around. Even I often find myself struggling to tackle and even fathom why anyone in the world would choose to be in a long-distance relationship. Between juggling schedules to challenges in communication, anyone who's ever been in a long-distance relationship can certainly tell you how hard it can be to make a long-distance relationship work.  
I really don't think anyone intends to end up in a long-distance relationship, but sometimes it just happens. You fall in love with him in town, and then he moves out of town or gets transferred. Or you meet him at a chat room or on another social forum and instantly connect, and suddenly you realize something that totally sux. The reality is you are living on opposite sides of the planet worlds away.Or maybe you hooked up with a scrumptious man while vacationing, but who can afford to fly to Cambodia every couple of months? And are you prepared to spend some 31 hours on a plane to spend time with your significant other?

There's no crystal ball that can predict how long a relationship of any kind will last, but your current feelings may offer some clues about what the future holds for you and your significant other. For some couples distance is a deal-breaker that brings the relationship to a close; however, for others absence really does make the heart grow fonder. It is an understandably difficult commitment to honor if you and your sweetheart decide to keep the relationship going while you are apart. Difficult but not impossible.

To consider the future of your relationship, it might be helpful to take a few steps back and evaluate your own feelings. Do you still care deeply for your significant other, or have your feelings waned after six months apart? Is your relationship still fulfilling, or would you be happier on your own? Depending on how you feel, it may provide clues to a future direction.
Despite how hard it is be far away from someone you care about, distance can be a blessing in disguise. Proximity can lead us to take people for granted, whereas being apart allows us to know someone in a truly different way. The extra effort you both make to keep in touch, whether through phone calls, email, or snail-mail, can foster a special intimacy. In the end, you may learn more about each other's personalities, values, ideas, and dreams than folks who spend time together every day. Face-to-face relationships can grow stale and filled with superficial conversations and few, if any, meaningful heart-to-hearts.
Have you considered talking with your partner about how you're feeling? Maybe s/he is wondering about the same things. If both of you want to be together, then you can begin to strategize about ways to make this happen. Will you need to wait until you graduate? Can one of you transfer schools? Or change jobs? Also leave the possibility open that you may continue in this long-distance arrangement for a while, and that would be okay, too.
Before running away from your long-distance relationship, take time to think about your feelings and ways to make the most out of being apart. There are many "right" ways to be involved in a loving relationship, and only time will tell if yours will last.
Lost's Reflection: Why you may ask would I even dream of endure such torture? One simple answer says it all. I find it harder to live with regret than risking it all for the sake of something that proves to be far greater than I had ever imagined. I willing to risk it all in the name of love for the simply devine notion of you and me is what motivates me and keeps me from running away, because I have found my place and its by your side. It is so much harder than any task that i have ever had to endure, but the simple fact I want to do what ever it takes to ensure that this delectable notion sees its way to our reality. To give it a fighting chance, to see where the path takes us. 
I know love is a risk, a gamble! What if....it doesn't workout? But...mmmm what if it does??
                                                                                           -Lost n Her Element

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